Mental health and sight loss almost killed me
Nick Whyton is 42 years old and living in Fareham, in June 2013 he noticed a problem with his eyesight
that changed the caused of his life.
that changed the caused of his life.
Nick said whilst he was driving his car he was not seeing things through his peripheral vision which deteriorated over time, he was concerned about the sight loss so he went to see an optician who gave him a field of vision test which he failed several times, and the optician referred Nick to his own GP.
Nick was advised not to drive which in turn created another problem as he was employed as a community carer therefore without being able to drive meant he could no longer work and his employer put him on long term sick leave.
In the meantime Nick was referred to the eye department at the QA Hospital but the appointment took almost a month to get, and Nick was getting more anxious hanging around to see what was wrong with his eyes.
Nick was in such shock to what was happening to him, and had no one to turn to for help in a professional sense, his GP gave no advice nor did the eye department at the hospital and Nick felt alone and isolated not knowing what to do next.
Nick knew the future was not looking good for him and he felt vulnerable as he knew he was no longer able to work and the safety net he had been used to was slowly disappearing from beneath him.
Nick said at that time in his life he was a border line alcoholic and this situation was not helping especially feeling so alone and vulnerable drink was his only friend.
Nick admitted to drinking up to 8 cans of beer a day during the week and one and a half bottles of spirits at the weekends.
Nick felt because the consultants could not diagnose the problem with his sight loss they used his drinking for the reason behind his loss of sight by saying it was a condition called Toxic Amblyopia which is a toxic reaction to the optic nerve resulting in visual loss, various poisonous substances may cause the condition as well as nutritional factor at the worse scenario could lead to complete blindness.
Nick has a very addictive nature and he freely admits he was at this time in his life addicted to drinking, like other people are addicted to smoking or gambling and he was using alcohol as a replacement for food.
Due to the problem with his sight loss and despite being dry for 7 years he could not handle the pressures of day to day life and started to drink again, he was mixing drink with anti depressants and not using his anti depressant correctly, Nick also was overdosing on the anti depressant medication and pain killers which he felt was normal due to the mental state he was in, Nick was in a very dark place, on his own and finding no way out from it.
In October 2013 Nick’s family were getting so concerned about him, they took him to QA Hospital to seek help from the mental health team who advised him to admit himself to Antelope House which is an institution for people suffering with mental health issues in Southampton, by doing this himself it avoided him being sectioned under the mental act.
With Nick turning to alcohol and mis using his medication and overdosing he was beginning to get out of control, on top of all the abuse he was giving himself Nick also was self harming by cutting up his arms and legs, the reason for the self harming was to get rid of all the pain that was in his head. So his family had no option but to seek help from the professionals which is why Nick ended up in a mental institution in Southampton.
Whilst in Southampton Nick was put on medication to help stop him drinking, and later he found out the medication he was being prescribed had an effect on his kidneys because he had kidney problems which they were aware of he said the medication he was given should not have been used on me despite being told of my problems.
Nick spent 3 weeks in Southampton and returned there on two other occasions, he was diagnosed in having adjustment disorder, moderate to severe depression and high levels of anxiety.
Nick had no place he could call his own so, he was staying with family and friends for a while, his mental health had deteriorated once again because he found himself on his own during the day and thoughts were coming back into his head, as well as being in a strange place he found it too much to deal with, and at that point he was still consuming a lot of alcohol, in December 2013 he was admitted into St James Portsmouth for a while, but soon after being released on the 9th December he refused to go back and stay with family and friends because whilst he was doing this he was not entitled to get supported living for himself, therefore he was classified as being homeless.
Nick went to Fareham council with a letter in his hand from St James Hospital stating he was homeless and a bed and breakfast was found found for him in Titchfield which he stayed in for two weeks, two days before Christmas Nick was found a room in a shared house in Gosport by a charity who deals with people with mental health problems, but mental health support was not offered it was just to help him find somewhere to live.
Even though Nick had his own secure room he did not feel totally at home due to the other residence arguing and his food being stolen in the kitchen, it was not ideal and he could not cope with it all, but for a short term situation it had to make do,
Nick was still having mental health issues but was getting help through his GP.
Nick applied for disability benefits PiP ( Personal Independent Payment) he completed the forms himself again without any help and eventually got awarded his benefits, but feel that DWP did not understand mental health illness or sight loss as a disability and thinks that they should be trained to identify how hard life can be with only one of the symptoms let alone both together, he says he believes they would rather not understand it as they have such a large work flow.
In April 2014 Nick’s life slowly started to improve he was invited to attend a course held by Action for Blind People called Finding Your Feet, which was held over two days, he did not turn up on the first day because he does not handle group meetings very well and thinks when he walks into a room full of strangers they are all looking at him, he knows they are not,it is just what is in his head.
On the evening of the first day Nick received a phone call urging him to attend the course the following day, Nick said he was proud he managed to attend the course on the second day and it helped having someone there who he knew, he also said he learnt that he was not the only one who has problems and that there are people and organisations out there who can help, rather thinking on a selfish nature that you are the only one with a problem and it is good to know your not alone and the course made me realise that, and it helps improve the lives of other people.
Since attending the Finding Your Feet course Nick has joined a blind Ten Pin Bowling club and has been doing this for nearly two years now, he still suffers anxiety attacks some mornings before attending bowling, but knows when he arrives he enjoys the sport and a laugh with the lads and feels at ease because he is with other people with sight loss and this is a constant reminder he will never be alone.
Nick has been in a dark place for such a long time and if it was not for the love of his family and friends he would not be with us today the future for him is a lot brighter than it was, even though he still struggles with mental health issues it is now under control, and he has had therapy for his drinking and has been dry for over one year.
Nick has also got himself a permanent place to live and has a voluntary job with his landlord as a neighbourhood rep, and he is also now in a long term relationship with a woman who accepts him for who he is.
Nick now knows if he has any problems he is not alone and has a group of friends he can call on for support.
by: David Taylor
Losing My Sight Magazine
没有评论:
发表评论